Last night, we headed to Sushi Han for, obviously, sushi and had a great meal. Still too early for us to head home, even on a school night, we decided to head to one our all-time faves, Rioja, for a nightcap. We were absolutely stuffed from dinner, so we were not-so-pleasantly surprised when our friendly waiter, Nate, delivered a complimentary appetizer. Now, this is no ordinary flatbread appetizer. This gourmet flatbread boasts Bilbao chorizo, caramelized onions, Manchego cheese and pickled melon. It’s flatbread heaven. So, despite being stuffed, it’s rude to turn down a slice or two of the best flatbread ever. So we eat it, love it and become even more stuffed with culinary delight.
On to the food-induced psychotic episode. I’m pretty sure the Bilbao chorizo-Manchego cheese combination produced psychedelic dreams worthy of Bennidito’s Beer Buddies. Although I’ve been treated to a fine meal at Benniditos, I did not have the fortune of experiencing the psychotic effects of “the crack cocaine of pizza.” This was mildly disappointing, but the Beer Buddies were even better than described. Anyway, my new theory is that specific, delicious meat-and-cheese or meat-and-sauce combos produce crack-like dreams. How do I know? Because just hours after ingesting the magical flatbread, I had the following dream.
My friend Jenny is not an alligator. I’ve seen her in several settings, at all different times of the day and night, and there is nothing alligator-like about her. Nada. BUT, during my nocturnal psychotic break, Jenny has the ability to turn into an alligator at will! And, not just your run-of-the mill alligator, but a tiny – maybe 14″ long – alligator. Did I mention she can do this at will? Also present is my former boss, who, just like in real life, I can never understand what she’s blabbing about. So, here we are, Boss Lady and me, on a sandy beach near a boat ramp when I spot a full-size alligator slowly ascending the boat ramp! I call to Human Jenny, who is standing much closer to said ramp, and warn her of the potential full-size alligator danger. Full-size Alligator picks up speed, and Jenny has no choice except to morph into Tiny Alligator Jenny! Tiny Alligator Jenny is lightning fast in water and on sand, and within seconds she’s near me & Boss Lady (who is still blabbing on and on and on) and quickly burrowing deep into the sand so that Full-size Alligator cannot find her. @#$%?
I should also mention that although I know about Jenny’s Super Tiny Alligator Powers, it’s not something she shares or talks about much. See, Jenny knows that people won’t understand, and might possibly become jealous of, her Tiny Alligator Powers. The end.
We’ve all heard people ramble on about some stupid dream they had, but surely we can all agree that the only explanation for Tiny Alligator Jenny is a food-induced psychotic episode. Who’s with me?
